My Current Soundtrack

Every morning while I'm getting ready for the day, I listen to my iPod.

Every night, I fall asleep listening to my iPod.

During the times in between, I have songs from my iPod stuck in my head.

The other day it occured to me that probably only 5-10% of those tunes are spiritually uplifting.  Not that the other 90-95% of the songs are bad, they're just not particularly spiritual.  They're mostly just upbeat and fun!  When I realized just how much I listen to my iPod and how few of those songs directed my attention UPward, I decided it was time to start finding some fun, upbeat, UPLIFTING music to add to the mix. 

Here are two of the songs I've recently added, and I must say... I LOVE these songs! 

"You Lead" by Jamie Grace

"Stronger" by Mandisa

I hope you find encouragement from these songs like I did!  Feel free to share any suggestions you might have of fun, upbeat, UPLIFTING music for me to try! :)

Greener Grass?

Do you ever feel like everyone else you know has a more exciting life than yours?  Like the grass really IS greener on the other side of the fence?  Like everyone else is doing exciting, wonderful things with their lives while you sit idly by watching it all take place?

Join the club.

I feel like that quite often.

I definitely have been feeling like that lately. Everyone seems to be going along great, having exciting things happening in their lives.

But here's the thing: no matter what happens, whether it be good, bad, or otherwise, life goes on. And no matter how exciting I think someone else's life looks, I have my own story to tell, and chances are that someone out there is looking at MY life wishing they could trade places with me.

When I look at life from that perspective, I realize just how great my life really is!  I have great friends, an amazing family, and a job I love.  I definitely have things I'd like to change in my life, but for the most part, I can't complain.

A week ago, I was looking forward to spending the summer living with my best friend/little sister, Helen, and spending time with my friends Thomas and Shelly.  I was looking forward to having my own space in my own apartment with my own kitchen. 

That was last week.

This weekend, I was looking forward to remaining happy & comfortable in my current living situation, saying "goodbye" to Helen & Shelly in a few weeks, and spending the summer alone.

Then God, in His endless mercy and kindness, showed me that He has things under control.  Always.

While I was out doing a little retail therapy the other night, I ran into an aquaintance. Ten minutes later, I realized we'd been chatting like old friends, and I was really glad I'd crossed her path!  She was a huge encouragement to me.  She even invited me to hang out with them this summer at their bonfires! 

Then a potential housing situation opened.  I don't know for sure if/when that will happen, but it would be perfect, and I'm looking forward to seeing how God will provide!

Then I remembered that Thomas is officially "moving" to Ankeny after graduation.  And I got a call from my dear friend Amy, who lives in the area.  And Gwen invited me to bonfires. 

Now, I'm looking forward to watching God provide different housing as HE wills, spending the summer with great friends all around me, and praising God for His goodness!

Maybe the grass isn't greener on the otherside of the fence after all! :)

Lost & Found

Some of you are probably wondering where I've been the last few weeks.  No blog posts.  Very few status updates on Facebook.  Hardly any texts or phone calls.  You probably haven't even seen me around all that much lately.

Well, the truth is that I've been a little depressed.  Now before you start worrying, you should remember/be told that my version of depression isn't dark.  I simiply don't have that capability in me.  I'm way too cheerful and upbeat for something like that. 

When I get depressed, which is no more than a few times a year, I simply shut down.  I crawl into my shell and push everyone away.  For the past three or four weeks, I've felt lost. Like I have no idea where I'm going.  Or what I'm looking for.  Or how to get there.  The worst part was feeling so lost, and thinking to myself that no one would come find me... that no one wanted to.

I feel like there is more to life than what I've been giving and getting.  I feel like there is something missing.  I feel like I have this hollow, empty place in my heart, and I don't know how to fill it, or with what to fill it. 

Whew!  That IS kinda depressing, huh?

So anyhow, it wasn't until Saturday that I picked up my Bible again after (sadly) too long away, and I began reading in Matthew 7,  picking up where I last left off.  In verse 7, it says this:

"Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

It goes on in verse 11 to say:

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

I was struck by the fact that I kept expecting God to fix my problem, but I had never asked Him to do so.  God wants good things for my life.  All I have to do is ask.

Ask for His wisdom.

Ask for His strength.

Ask for Him to show me the way.

Ask for Him to find me.

So that's what I did. I wrote a three page letter to God, asking Him for all these things.

Why is it, then, that I'm surprised when God answers with unexpected blessings?

On Sunday,  several times, I had people saying they'd missed me the previous week (I had a massive headache, and let's face it... I was also extremely depressed, so I'd missed services last Sunday).  I had people that chose to spend time with me, that asked me to stick around when I would have otherwise left.  I felt like maybe, just maybe, someone DID want to find me. 

Then yesterday, I called to talk to my momma.  I haven't done that in a few weeks, which is pretty unusual for me.  She said she had assumed I was doing great and keeping busy because I hadn't checked in for awhile.  I explained to her that when I quit calling... that's when she should start being worried. 

Then my daddy came on the line.  He told me that I was on his mind during his drive to work that morning, so he'd been praying for me.  He wanted to make sure I was ok, that everything was fine.  I love my earthly father.  And even more, I love my heavenly Father for prompting my eartly father to "find" me. 

I still feel a little lost, but I can tell you that today I'm happier than I have been in a long time.

Because I know that even though I've been feeling lost for awhile, God is sending the people I love to find me.

And He Himself is helping me find my way.