An Extraordinary Ordinary Life

All my life, I feel like I've struggled to be myself. Growing up, I knew who I was expected to be, and for the past 26 years, I've done a pretty good job of being just that girl. 

I don't know that I can point to an exact moment and say "that was it... that's the moment when everything changed...," but over the last four months, I've definitely been changing. I'm not saying it was an over night change, nor do I intend to lead you to believe that it has been easy, because I assure you, it has not, but I'm not the same person today that I was even a month ago.

Over the summer, I spent many, many hours with a group of people that, for the most part, didn't know me. I didn't realize at the time what a gift that was. Spending hours and hours every week with a group of people who had absolutely no idea who I am as a person (with the exception of one solitary person, who I know accepts me no matter what) really gave me the opportunity to open up and discover myself. 

These last two months have been particularly challenging as I no longer spend hours and hours with my FACT family every week. I'm back in the "real world," where people know me and have expectations. But thankfully, I've found the courage and boldness to continue discovering who I truly am, and  every day I embrace that person more and more. 

In the midst of all this change and self-discovery, I've really struggled with how my soon-to-be-27 life looks: Single. The struggle hasn't been that I'm single (although at times that in itself IS a struggle), but rather the struggle is that I've recently discovered I'm (becoming) completely happy with that. I know what you're thinking... "how is being happy in your singleness a struggle?" 

Let me tell you why that's a struggle. The older I get, the fewer and fewer single friends I have, which by default means that I'm the exception, not the rule (interpreted: why aren't you married yet??). For someone like me who has lived her entire life trying to be the person everyone expects, this is difficult. Because sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me. Sometimes (most of the time, actually) I feel like it's not ok for me to be indifferent to -- even happy in-- my singleness. 

My other major struggle has been that I've finally found a job that I think I could end up loving for a long time. Again... "why the struggle?" you ask. Well, to be honest, the struggle is that my job isn't all that glamorous. I'm not doing amazing things for God (missionary, ministry, etc.).  I'm not even doing amazing things in general (firefighter, doctor, working for a big-name company). Is it really OK for me to be proud of and completely love my job, when it seems so menial?

It may seem like I'm rambling, but here's where it all comes to a point. This morning's message at church was on the life of Esther. I've known how her story goes since I was a little girl, but today it really hit home. I (not surprisingly) was brought to tears over the following (para)phrase spoken from the pulpit today:

"God has a specific role for you to play.  Don't waste your life worrying about who you're not, but rather focus on who God has made you to be. Embrace the person God has made you and the role He has made you to play."

We were reminded that Esther didn't choose the extraordinary life God had planned for her. She didn't choose to lose her parents and be raised by a cousin. She didn't choose to be uprooted from her home and taken to the palace. However, she DID choose to follow God. She DID choose to embrace the role God had for her to play. She DID choose to be used of God in the salvation of her people. 

The past four months have been a struggle-- the good kind of struggle-- as I discover more and more things about myself. And up until today, I thought that embracing this new-found me wasn't ok.

But maybe, just maybe, allowing myself to be who I really am isn't such a bad thing. 

And maybe, just maybe, God wants me to learn to fall in love with my extraordinary ordinary life.

Tale As Old As Time

Yes.

Just a short little three-letter word. One I've said many times before. Little did I know that saying this tiny word in May would have such an impact on my life.

When I auditioned to be in the FACT (Fairfield Area Community Theatre) production of Beauty and the Beast, I figured I'd join the chorus, enjoy singing, have an alright experience, and move on. I almost didn't go because neither of my sisters were going to be able to do it with me, and I wasn't sure about going alone. But, I didn't want to disappoint G (my former music teacher/mentor/extra dad-type), so I said yes.

Auditions were interesting; definitely a step out of my comfort zone. But fun. That first night, I left having no idea if I would even continue. Not a single person was there that I knew except Blair (G's son who had no clue who I was, but had been told about me), the assistant director disliked me (or so I thought), and there were wAAAAAy too many kids. 

BUT. I said yes. And I spent the next two and a half months doing something I loved and spending time with some incredible people! 

During the first month of rehearsals, I was really struggling with some things in my personal life, and rehearsals were such an oasis for me! For a few hours several nights a week, everything else faded from view. I was able to get lost in a perfect little world of music and forget the frustrations of life. It was EXACTLY what I needed!

Then we moved into choreography. YIKES! Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a good dancer. And the choreographer was so cool. And hip. And I just KNEW she was going to find me ridiculously awkward. So when she asked me to help out on some extra stuff, I was shocked. But again, I said YES. I had no idea that saying "yes" to that request would gain me a new best friend! From that moment on, Rachel and I were connected at the hip! I basically ended up being her second in command, which I LOVED! Turns out, I'm not half bad at the dancin' thing! When all was said and done, I was told under no uncertain terms that I was her new permanent assistant for these shows. Which I love!

As we got closer and closer to the production, the FACT family spent more and more time together. Hours of rehearsals every single day, lots of hard work, and tons of togetherness. These people really became my Summer family (in fact, I spent more time with them than with my ACTUAL family during the months of June/July). As it turns out, the assistant director DIDN'T dislike me (she secretly loved me), and I had such a wonderful time being one of her go-to people backstage.

The three performances went {practically} flawlessly {to the public eye}, and Sunday night after the final curtain closed, everyone gave a sigh of relief. Everyone except me. I cried. Not in a big all-out tears streaming down my face kind of way, but in that single tear slips down the cheek kind of way. I hate when things end. After spending every single spare moment with this crew for the past 10 weeks, saying goodbye- even just temporarily- was going to break my heart.

After the final clean up was completed (of which I stuck around literally as long as I possibly could because I just couldn't bring myself to leave), and dinner with my crew was finished (you know who you are), I reluctantly got in my car and drove home. I may or may not have cried the entire drive.

I'm so thankful for this experience, and for the people I was able to meet, and the permanent friendships I was able to form. I had no idea I'd end up being sucked into the FACT family, but I'm SO GLAD I WAS! So many of you touched my heart in ways that you'll never even know.

Oh... and G? Thanks. Just... Thanks!

'Till Next Year...

Diana (the assistant director), Rachel (choreographer), & Me

Me & My Crew: Rachel, Me, Drew, Blair, & G

Me & My BFF Dancin' Rachel

Where Has Lacy Been?

I'm sure some of you, by now, are wondering if I'm still out there in cypberspace. Well, the answer, is YES! BUT... life has gotten quite hectic for me. Between starting a new job, joining the local theater group, battling yet ANOTHER sinus/ear infection, taking a long weekend to California, and two weddings, I hardly have time to catch up with myself, let alone all of YOU! So, quick recap (HA! Like I even know HOW to do quick...):

In mid-May, I was trolling Facebook, when I saw a post by my {former, but always} music teacher announcing auditions for the Faifrield Area Community Theater's summer production of Beauty & the Beast. Naturally, I did a little squeal of excitement, as Beauty & the Beast is my all-time favorite Disney movie! Of course, a week later, I auditioned, and low and behold, I got the exact role I wanted: random chorus person! It's been a L-O-T of work, but I'm SO glad I did it! I was really struggling with a few life-y things, and I'm so thankful this dropped in my lap. Even though it sometimes leaves me frustrated (the cast this season includes a larger amount of young talent versus seasoned talent), I love that it allows me a solid chunk of time to escape from the "real world" and just have fun. We perform in exactly two weeks, and I can't even begin to imagine just how many hours we'll put in between now and then. In fact, next week, I get to learn a whole new choreography set for a scene we haven't even touched yet! Yikes! It's been so fun, though, and I even got the great fortune of making a new life-long {I hope} friend out of the deal!

Two weeks ago, I left State Farm and started a new job working as a receptionist/office relations/front desk service person at a local dental practice. I was a little nervous about making the switch, but I KNEW I needed to do something because lets face it: sales is NOT my forte, and therefore, working as a sales associate at State Farm was not exactly the fit we were all hoping for. Office-y jobs, on the other hand, such as working the front desk at a dentist office, is definitely a fit! So far (yes I realize it's only been two weeks), I'm loving it! I think we were both exactly what the other was looking for.

Last weekend, my cousin April (whom I affectionately call "Steve") and I flew to Huntington Beach, California, to attend the wedding of my dear childhood friend, Robert Kyle. I am SO glad we went! We had a total and absolute B-L-A-S-T!!! The wedding was held at a resort on the beach, and it was absolutely stunning. Hands-down the BEST wedding/reception/party/celebration I've ever attended! I'm so happy for Kyle & Kristina- they're a perfect pair! It was great getting time to celebrate with them, as well as catch up with another couple of friends from high school, Jeremiah & Jessica Teeter.

We had so much fun! April & I stayed at an airbnb, where we had just a fabulous time- an experience we're sure to repeat! On Saturday, before the wedding, we spent a few hours with Jessica & Jeremiah and their family at the beach, playing in the waves and relaxing in the California sun (where I got burnt bad enough I'm peeling this week). Sunday, after we had recovered from 5 solid hours of dancing the night before, April & I hit up some sights: Disneyland (just the shops outside the theme park, as Disney isn't really April's thing) and Balboa Island. LOVED experiencing both places, even though we were sunburnt and sore from the previous day's activities. We flew home on Monday, drove from Des Moines, and made it safely home around 11:30pm.

Last night, Helen & I got to witness the marriage of our dear Yellow House Brother, Christoper, to his exquisite Peruvian bride, Fiorella. The wedding was absolutely wonderful! What a joy to see how God worked through various circumstances to bring this couple together, and it's such a delight to see them reflect ALL the glory to GOD! It was wonderful to see our dear family-like friends for an evening, to eat, and dance, and laugh together! Our Delaware sister, Kirsten, even made it! We drove up AND back last night, and arrived home safely around 2:40AM this morning.

Next up: we'll celebrate Grandpa's 91st birthday & Alexxa's 5th birthday tomorrow, then family festivities for Independence Day before two weeks of NONSTOP rehearsals for Beauty & the Beast! Stay tuned... I'm going to try my hardest to keep up with blogging for the 6 people who read it! 

Memories

Memories

by Lacy Vance

Memories hit me in waves:

the memory of your eyes

your smile

your song.

Memories of carefree summer days:

the memory of your laughter

your voice

your sweet companionship.

Memories of joy-filled days:

the memory of swinging in the park

of ministering together

of being family.

Memories of parties and pie:

the memory of late night talks

of tears

of healing.

Memories of our perfect summer:

the memory of dancing in the rain

of hugs

of you.

As I stood in my kitchen talking to my sister tonight, a dull ache arose in my heart. People walk in and out of my life: some I remember with a smile, some I remember with a tear, and some... a handful of the most spectacular, incredible people I've ever known... make my heart ache because I miss their constant presence in my life more than words can even begin to express. My feeble attempt at poetry is the best I can offer.

And yet... in the midst of all these memories... the ache in my heart tells me that maybe, just maybe, our story isn't finished yet.

And I pray that someday, just maybe, we'll get another chance.

Because I Knew You...

I've heard it said

that people come into our lives 

for a reason

bringing something we must learn

and we are led to those

who help us most to grow

if we let them

and we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true,

but I know I'm who I am today

because I knew you...

I believe with all my heart that God brings people into our lives as we need them. Some people, like our families, we need for a lifetime. Others, who we may only need for a short period of time, leave lifetime impacts on our hearts. This man is one of those short-time, lifetime impact type of people. I officially met Mr. John Grundwald on the first day of 5th grade music class. Little did I know that day just how much time I would end up spending with him over the next 8 years. I always liked music, but this teacher made me fall in love with it!

During my middle school days, he encouraged my love of music {and theatre} by choosing me as one of the lead vocalist roles in the middle school production of Tom Sawyer in 7th grade. In 8th grade, he started planting ideas in my head of being the high school accompanist, which starting my Freshman year, I did. 

High School for me, as it is for most, was fraught with drama, but the one place I always found a calm oasis was the choir room. Mr. G was always ready with a listening ear and an encouraging word. He pushed me to be better than I was and to not settle for "just ok," both as a pianist and in life. My Sophomore year, he took part of the choir to NYC. I had originally signed up, but had to drop out because I just couldn't seem to get the money scraped together. Long story short, a few months before they left, he approached me about taking the spot of another girl for a discounted price. So I went. And it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! My Senior year, he took me to several vocal festivals and {helped} gift me with my choice of "The Christmas Shoes" for the winter production at Harmony. All four years of high school, he encouraged me to try out for the local theatre productions, and finally, my Senior year, I did. I joined the cast for an exciting production of Bye, Bye Birdie. I met many people along the way with whom I still keep contact today. 

As a teacher, the expectation is that you will change lives, leave huge impacts, and create a better future for those you teach. I'm not a teacher in a school, but I'm sure there are times of great discouragement, when it feels like you're not making any difference for anyone.

But, at least for THIS man, I hope there is never a doubt in his mind that his work matters - this his life has affected so many and changed us...

For Good.

What's Going On? : A Life Update

Wow.  I was just perusing my blog, and I noticed that it's been a VERY long time since I did a life update.

A LOT has changed in the last year... even in just the last six months. But I wouldn't trade any of it for the world! I've learned and grown so much in that short time.

A year ago, I was still basking in the warm memories of a recent trip to the Caribbean. What an incredible experience, and I'm so thankful my dearest cousin April included me in that excursion!

Six months ago (ish), I had finally come to a place of contentment with my job at the bank and with living with my parents for the time being. My first nephew was also born.

Five months ago, I got a job offer from a customer that was way too good to pass up.

Four months ago, I passed all my licensing exams to be able to sell insurance.

Three months ago, My new boss found me a place to live just a block away from work. And the landlady is a good friend of hers, to boot!

Two months ago, we took a break from life to celebrate and be thankful for all the Lord has done for us.

A month ago, we took a break from life to celebrate the birth of the Savior.

Three weeks ago, Helen and I moved into our new apartment.

Today, I'm settled in (for the most part), and so in love with life!

So there you have it. My life in a nutshell over the last year.

While I Was Busy Making Lemonade...

We've all heard the old adage "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Six months ago, as some of you may know, I began looking for a new job.  There wasn't anything particularly wrong with working at the bank; I just knew I didn't want to look back in ten years and see that I was still there, doing the same ol' thing that was neither fulfilling nor rewarding.  So I put out dozens of resumes and had several interviews over the summer. But by the time vacation rolled around in August, nothing had panned out, and I was feeling quite discouraged. So while we were in Colorado, spending hours and hours in the car, I made the decision to stop looking for awhile. I decided to "make lemonade" and be happy at the bank. At least until next spring.

Shortly after we returned from vacation, a new job opportunity came up, and I interviewed for the job.  I even went so far as to initially accept the job, which I then turned down the next day. I simply had Z-E-R-O peace about taking it. I couldn't figure out why God was suddenly saying no, but I went with my gut (the lack of peace) and said "no."

That afternoon, my friend Michelle approached me about reading the Bible.  There was my answer. God wanted me to stay where I was because I needed a Bible reading buddy, and so did she.

So there I was, busy making lemonade, enjoying my life, when literally out of nowhere, God dropped a new job in my lap. My soon-to-be boss approached ME about working for her.  I wasn't even looking anymore, and THERE IT WAS! She (my soon-to-be boss) and I grabbed lunch a few days after she initially approached me, and by the end of our chat, she offered me a job at her State Farm location in Mt. Pleasant! Needless to say, I am ecstatic about this new opportunity! I begin October 1, and neither of us (my soon-to-be boss & me) can wait!

I know its going to be a LOT of work (I need to obtain four different licenses before I can really do what she wants me to do; I'll probably be working on those at LEAST through the end of this year), but I am confident this is where God wants me.  It also doesn't hurt that the benefits are incredible and the pay is significantly higher!

Sometimes God says "no" to what we want. Sometimes He says "wait."

And sometimes, while you're busy making lemonade, God says "YES!"

When Life Gives You Lemons

I love lemons.  There's just so much you can do with them:

Add them to a glass of water or iced tea to dress up your drink

Use (or con your best Helen Crocker sister into using) them for a lemon meringue pie

Juice them to add to a nice salad dressing

And, of course, there's always the old standby: Make Lemonade.

Now, with fall doing its absolute best to make its grand entrance, lemonade isn't exactly what I have on the menu.  In fact, I've skipped the lemonade and gone straight for the tea.  Hot.  With honey.  And while I don't exactly take to the notion that "life" gives you lemons,  I do believe that God places things in our lives to teach us lessons, or simply to see what we're made of.

On Tuesday, I started feeling a little sniffly, so I pulled out the throat drops and hot tea and went nuts. However, by Thursday morning, I decided that my throat drops and hot tea were no match for whatever this was I had come down with.  So... I went to the doctor. Well, technically, I went to the Physicians Assistant (but I'm pretty sure she could be a doctor if she really wanted to because she's AWESOME... and anyone who knows me knows that I barely tolerate PA's... to put it mildly). Guess what.  I have a sinus infection.  SOOOOO not fair when I just had surgery in March to fix this little recurring situation.  The good news is that this sinus infection isn't nearly as bad as what I used to get. I did get some killer meds and missed a day and a half of work.

I also have been awaiting some news, which I may have gotten today through the grapevine, that wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear.  So that kinda bummed me out, too.

Then I got to thinking about Sunday School.  We're finishing up our study on James this Sunday, and the whole book is about our growing relationship with Christ and what it should look like and how to enhance it.  And though I'm not sure if we ever discussed it, one thing that stuck with me throughout the entire study was this: we should be looking to God for everything.  If I'm sick, I should praise Him and trust Him for healing.  If I'm feeling like a change is needed in my work life or in my social life, I should praise Him and trust Him for leading.

And maybe, just maybe when "life gives you lemons," God just wants to see what you'll do with them.

So I'm choosing to make the lemonade (that actually tastes a LOT like hot tea with honey for now) and praise Him in the process!

I Feel Pretty

There's a Facebook nomination thing going around for people to "Share five pictures you feel beautiful in," and while I haven't been nominated, I thought I would take a minute to share a few photos in which I feel beautiful.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It's easy in our culture to be very self-loathing, to see ourselves as not up to par.  We're taught by the media that in order to be beautiful, you need to be stick thin, blemish free, and always perfectly made up. It's easy to look in the mirror or through a photo album and only see the flaws.

But I'm not just flaws.  I am the daughter of the King.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made!  I am just the way God intended me to be.  I'm not saying I don't have a responsibility to take care of myself, nor am I saying that I am the most beautiful person on the planet.  I just need to remind myself sometimes that God made me in His image, and I look just like He choose. God doesn't make mistakes.

And I am beautiful.

For those of you who receive this via e-mail, this is largely a PHOTO post, so you'll have to actually go to my blog to see them...

Memory of the Future

I recently heard a song (extra points if you know where) and fell completely in love with it! It's one of my new favorites. The phrase that gets me every time I hear it is this:

"And we're all getting older,
wishing we were young
hanging on the memory of what we would become..."

It doesn't happen too often, as I quite enjoy my current life, but occasionally I think about the fact that I've been out of high school for almost six years, and my life looks nothing like I thought it would.

If you'd asked me at 18 where I thought I'd be at 24, I would probably have said something along the lines of "happily married, living somewhere in the suburbs with the man of my dreams, raising our children.  I'll have traveled to at least six states I've never been in before and made enough memories to last a lifetime.  This year, our family Christmas card will feature a photo of our family visiting yet another historical, yet beautiful, landmark."

I think we can all agree that NONE of this has happened yet. But that's how life is. Things rarely go as you thought they would. I'm not complaining about my life.  I love my life.  I'm so thankful for this extra time I get to spend with my family!  I have a job I enjoy (most of the time) and a church that provides both a family and an outlet for ministry.

Life doesn't always turn out like I thought it would.  And while I love this life just the way it is, I like occasionally spending an hour or two with my memories of the future I hoped for.

A Little Slow...

As you all know, I had surgery last Thursday to correct my deviated septum.  I won't bore you with the gory details, but I will tell you that it was successful and the doctors were pleased with the outcome. And I'm pretty sure that my dad was even a little grossed out when they took the splints out of my nose on Friday.  Super gross.  Just.... ew!

I spent all of Thursday afternoon, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday feeling like I'd been hit in the face with a sledgehammer.  I fully intended to go back to work on Monday, but... that just didn't happen. I just didn't have the energy.  I was sluggish and blah. I should have known better than to assume I'd be "normal" with this recovery.  I've never had a normal recovery in my life. 

I just tend to be a little slow.  Slow bouncing back.  Slow healing up.  Slow to regain strength.  

The only thing that doesn't slow down is my sense of humor.  And my conversation speed.  Apparently there just isn't much that slows either of those things down.

Thanks, again, for all the prayers said on my behalf.  It was comforting to know that God was with me during surgery.  The last thing I remember before waking up in recovery is repeating these words over and over in my head: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." and "Lo, I am with you always."  I'm thankful for the peace and comfort God brings when we need it most!

I don't see the doctor again until next Thursday for my two-week post-op check-up.  So until then, I've stocked up on the lotion-y Puffs, grape juice (which is a comfort thing for me for some reason), and I'm doing my absolute best to hold off on sneezing until I absolutely can't hold it in any longer (because lets be honest: that's gonna HURT like the dickens when it finally happens!!). 

Deviation

That's the answer.

I went to the ENT for my CT scan and allergy test this morning, and that was the answer: I have a deviated septum.  No allergies.  No sinus problems (in fact, my sinuses look pretty good, apparently). Just a deviated septum.

Just.

Long story short, the deviated septum is [likely and hopefully (because that means surgery will fix it)] causing three things:

1. my drainage to go IN instead of OUT, which leads to sore throats and, well... drainage.
2. a pinched nerve somewhere in my nose/cheek/eye area, which is the cause of what we thought were sinus headaches but are actually facial migraines. 
3. limited breathing capacity.  Apparently I'm only breathing at about 80% of what I should be, which is probably why I sigh ALL THE TIME.  Seriously, people at work comment on it at least once a day.

So, what do we do to fix the problem?

Surgery.  Next Thursday (March 13). Sometime in the morning. The surgeon/doctor/specialist guy will be basically shaving off the part that is doing the blocking (if I understood correctly. I was kind of having one of those facial migraine things going on so I was having trouble focusing on what he was telling me.)  If all goes well, I'll have surgery Thursday, follow-up Friday, recovery Saturday, bounce-back Sunday, and return to work Monday.

Thanks for all who have been and will continue to pray.  It's not scary for me, but it is a little overwhelming.  I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon.  But I'm thankful for so many things today- I'm glad to finally have some answers!

Ten Random Things

1. I love glazed doughnuts. Just plain old glazed rings of deliciousness.
2. My favorite color is yellow.  But I like just about any color as long as it's bold and bright.
3. I'm a coffee drinker, but lately I've been drinking TONS of tea, hot and with honey.
4. My favorite "chore" is vacuuming. My least favorite is dusting.
5. I like to learn/know things.  If I don't know what a word means, I look it up, learn its meaning, and use it frequently.
6. I'm very particular about the way my laundry is folded. Unless you absolutely know 100% how to fold to my specifications, don't bother folding my clothes.
7. I'm not a morning person.  At all.  In fact, I'm not so pleasant in the morning.  However, my favorite part of the day is sunrise.  I love the reminder that I've been given another day to grow, learn, and serve Jesus!
8. I super enjoy going to museums of natural history.  I haven't been to one in years, but I like history!
9. Growing up, my favorite day of the week was Tuesday.  I have no idea why, but I still enjoy Tuesdays.  
10. Never in my life have I driven through a car wash. I always loved going through the car wash with my parents when I was little, and I certainly have no aversion to driving my own car through the car wash; I just never have.

5 Thankful Things- January

Something I wanted to do this year was be more thankful.  To take the time to really notice and appreciate the great things I have in my life.  There are far too many things I take for granted, and I don't want to let these blessings just pass by without notice any longer.

So I've decided to try to do a monthly "reflection" of sorts by sharing just five things I'm thankful for during the month.  Here's January:

1. Not having to live in fear of being evicted.  I love love LOVE living at home, and while sometimes I'm afraid my parents will get sick of me, I know that fear is just that: a fear.  There is no truth to it whatsoever, and my parents most likely love having me home just as much as I love living here.  It's not exactly what I planned to be doing at 24, but in some ways, it's BETTER!
2. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to stay home when I'm sick.  In fact, I think they'd rather have me stay home than come to work when I'm sick.  And let me tell you, I have DEFINITELY been sick.  I can't seem to kick this sinus-y upper respiratory thing.  On that note...
3. I'm thankful for a doctor that FINALLY sees the need for serious help with these recurrent sinus infections.  He referred me to an ENT (Ears, Nose, Throat) specialist, who I will see on Wednesday.
4. I'm thankful that our house is NOT heated with propane.  Not that I'm paying for it regardless, since as I already mentioned: I live at home, but I'm thankful that it's not something we have to worry about. 
5. I'm thankful for reconnecting with friends.  I'm thankful, in particular, for my high school friend, Connie, who introduced me to "trampoline jogging!"  I've been jogging 3-5 times a week since the new year, and I've gotta say, it's the best workout I've ever done!

Warning Label Needed

Monday morning, I woke up STILL tired.

Tuesday, I woke up STILL tired.

Wednesday, I woke up STILL tired with an "explode-my-head" headache.

Thursday, I woke up (after 10 hours of sleep) STILL tired with an "explode-my-head" headache AND puffy eyes. 

So I went to the doctor and got some medicine for yet another sinus infection.  This is #5 or 6 in a year's time. At least this time the doctor referred me to an ENT specialist.  I see the specialist in February. 

Today, I woke up (after 10 hours of sleep) STILL tired, but minus the headache and puffy eyes.  But feeling like a freight train plowed through me.  

So I was stuck with the choice: to go to work or not to go... that was the question.  I chose to NOT go.

As I laid in bed considering my options, I found myself thinking how unfair it is that adulthood doesn't come with a warning label.

When I was in middle school and high school, all I wanted was to grow up and be an adult.  Then I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted. 

But what I didn't realize is that adulthood comes with a LOT of responsibilities.  You have to make your own decisions and take responsibility for whatever results those decisions may return. I have to make the decision on when I should and should not call in sick.  I have to make the decision when or if to go to the doctor.  I have to make the decision on where I want to live and how I want to live and with whom I want to spend my time. I have to choose whether to get an apartment on my own or buy a car.  I have to chose how, when, where, and on what I spend my finances. So many choices!

 Sure, there are people around that are more than happy to give their opinion on my choices, to offer their guidance and advice, but only ONE person is held accountable for my decisions.  

Me.

Only Me.

Don't get me wrong, I like being an adult most of the time.  It's part of life.  It's part of the growing and learning thing called life.  All I'm saying is that they should tell you all of this stuff in middle school;  that while being an adult is great, take time to appreciate the days when the only decisions you have to make are which book to read for your book report and what kind of jelly you want on your PB&J.

NOT New Year's Resolutions

I've always liked the concept of New Year's Resolutions.  There's something great about choosing to make life changes.  However, what I HATE about New Year's Resolutions is that hardly anyone keeps their resolutions.  Usually this is because the resolutions are things that deep down they know they'll never actually be able to keep.

So I don't make resolutions.  Who wants to set themselves up for failure?!  Not me.  That's for sure.

So this year, I made a list of goals. 6 things I want to change in my life during 2014.  2 Spiritual, 2 Physical, & 2 Social/Emotional.  I made sure to keep them COMPLETELY attainable. I've chosen to share these with you for several reasons:

1- the hopes that you will pray for me as I strive to meet these goals this year

2- to have people keeping me accountable

3- inspire YOU to set some goals of your own

My 2014 Goals are these:

Spiritual:

-Read through the entire New Testament (which I've never done as a personal goal)

-Finish Memorizing Romans 6 (I've tired to memorize it twice with one month goals, but never have)

Physical:

-exercise 3 times a week

-lose one pants size

Social/Emotional:

-Use my words to uplift others

-Live peaceably with others

I like that I've given myself an entire year to make these changes.  And I LOVE that they're all 100% attainable! It excites me to think that a year from now, I should be able to look back and say "Yeah!  I DID that!"

2013 in Retrospect

This will be my fourth year doing an "...in Retrospect," and I must say, I quite enjoy my year-end reviews.  It's a great time to look back on all that happened over the last year, and to see the ways God has provided and taught.

Over the course of this year, I've lived in two different places in two different zip codes. I've had two different jobs in four different towns.  I'm part of two different (both amazing) church families. 

Is it sad that it excites me that all of these things only come in TWOS?!  For all the changes I've gone through this year, it really has been a year of stability for me.  

I started off the year living in Ankeny, working at a daycare.  I loved working with the kids, but I knew from the beginning it was a transition job, and I was restless for all of January and February.  Helen began her time at Cedarville in January, and April moved from Ankeny back to Farmington in December.  I was lonely and restless with no ideas in sight.

In February, I took a road trip with the Yellow House family out to Ohio to surprise my sister and to see Caleb in Cedarville's production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat."  It was SO MUCH FUN to surprise Helen and to see the play and to just be together. And even for all the fun times travelling with the Petersons, who by the way aren't the "do it as fast as we can" types when it comes to travelling.  HA!

Then, at the end of February, a friend of mine told me of a job hiring close to my parents' home in Southeast Iowa, at the bank I've frequented since my childhood.  I jumped at the opportunity, and long story short, I was hired!  I moved home at the end of March and began my new job on March 25.  I was nervous about taking this job because I was so tired of job hopping!  I really REALLY wanted this to be the job for me... for longer than a year.  And (spoiler alert) it has been probably the BEST job I've ever had!  It had its ups and downs (see prior posts from 2013), but so far I can say that I LOVE my job.  For real this time.  And for the long haul, too, I believe!

When I came home for my interview in early March, we celebrated my dad's 50th birthday with the family.  We had cake and food and family-togetherness.  I'm so thankful for our family patriarch.  He is such a blessing to our family in his leadership, in his example, and in his outlook on life.

In April, we celebrated Easter with the family, and my older sister brought her boyfriend for a first-meet with the family.  Oh boy.... if only Jason had known what he was in for. 

Summer quickly came, and we spent even more time together.  Daniel came home from his year in Peru, and Laura came home from her first semester at Cedarville.  We were finally all together again!  We spent the summer doing things like visiting Nauvoo, spending the 4th of July at Lacey Lake, and going on Vacation. Once again, we vacationed in Nebraska/Colorado.  I spent two days of solitude in Denver with my aunt and uncle, then when the family joined me, we visited the zoo and Uncle Waldo & Aunt Marlene. OH!  And Lindsey and Jason got engaged in August, too! 

Summer also included my 5-year high school reunion. We celebrated in July by getting together for an evening.  Most of my friends from high school were there, and it was so much fun to see everyone again!  It was so great to catch up with everyone and to see where we all ended up and what we're all doing.

Autumn arrived with bursts of color, and Helen went back to Ohio. I left Donnellson behind and started full-time in Mt. Pleasant, which wasn't good until I let go of what I wanted and said YES to God's leading.  In October, Leah and I went out to Ohio to surprise Helen for her 21st Birthday!  We had SO MUCH FUN!  And the surprise was ours when we got to spend time with Aunt Linda, whom we hadn't seen in way too long!  We had such a great weekend together.  Even the drive out and back was fun!

November came, and we began preparing for Thanksgiving.  Once again, I did my "Thankful Thoughts" blogs, and for the first time in the three years I've been doing it, I actually posted every single day on that date!  I was so proud of myself!  We celebrated Thanksgiving a little differently this year, as most of the family had to work on Thanksgiving.  Jason brought the girls over and spent the day with us.  We put up our Christmas tree and hung out.  Then on Saturday, we celebrated with our usual houseful of family and togetherness.

December arrived with a schedule full of activity.  I celebrated my 24th birthday with mom in Des Moines, where we shopped and ate and saw "The Polar Express" in the imax.  The following weekend, we celebrated the wedding of Lindsey to Jason, and the making of a new family!  We had our Christmas cantata at church that weekend, too. Helen and I ended the year by taking a trip to see our Yellow House family last weekend, and spending time with our family and friends in Des Moines.  

God has been so faithful this year in his blessing of family.  As I re-read this post, I realize that it's almost entirely about spending time with my family, and I am so blessed!  I also see God's faithfulness in the provision of a job I love, and the lessons He has taught me through this process of finding my place at the bank.  2013 has been a great year, and I'm so looking forward to 2014 as another opportunity to grow!

Day 22: History

I admit it.  I find history fascinating.  I know, I know.  You're all shocked, but it's true!

Today, especially, I'm thankful for my love of history as we observed the 50-year anniversary of the end of "Camelot."  For those of you who aren't history buffs, that would be the day John F. Kennedy was assassinated.   I've always been a lover of history, but in the last two years, I've fallen in love with the early 60's.

I'm thankful for my love of history because it's part of what makes me who I am.

Here are 10 random things you may never have wanted to know about me and my love of the 60's:

1. 1963 is my favorite year.  It's also the year my dad was born.
2. I would have definitely been a Pan Am stewardess.
3. Pearls and heels will always be in style.  Always.
4. As will the big hair.  
5. My favorite Beatles song is "Hey, Jude" (which wasn't released until 1968, I think).
6. I get a little thrill when I see Life Magazines.
7. JFK is one of my favorite presidents, probably because of the uniqueness surrounding his Presidency. 
8. I'd rather talk on an old rotary telephone than on my cell phone.
9. There's something very "family friendly" about the early 60's.  Yes, I know... the 60's were the "beginning of rebellion" or whatnot, but every era has it's rebellious ones.  Family, or the appearance of family, was still important then.  (No, it wasn't perfect.  I'm well aware.)
10. Secretaries were in high demand, and since I would LOVE to be a real secretary, I think that's fabulous!  I know, I could be a secretary today, but it's just not the same.  No typewriters.  No shorthand (which I never got the privilege to learn).  No steno pads. 

I'm thankful for my love of history, but I'm also thankful for parents who also are lovers of history.  We enjoy seeing historical sites (which we've done on occasion), and we like talking about history.  

I'm thankful for the past, for if we are wise, it is the change in our future. 

Focus

It's easy to lose focus when life seems to be spinning out of control (which is almost always an exaggeration in my case).  It's easy to have tunnel vision on what's wrong.

In light of yesterday's post, I'm afraid I may have given the wrong impression.

When life gets hard, I don't just fill my mind with random tunes and movies/shows that make me forget my problems.  Those things don't contain the answers.  As much as I enjoy them, they don't hold a candle to the hope, encouragement, and comfort I find in Christ!

Just like every growing Christian, my walk with God can always use improvement. There will always be time I could use to read my Bible instead of (whatever activity I choose). But in the midst of the storm, I find that the harder I run after God, the more peace I have.

This morning, as I was heading back to work (and dreading it very much), before I even left my driveway, I put on Legacy 5's cd It's A Wonderful Life.

SO. Much. Encouragement!!

I also teach children's church on Sunday's at my church, and we just finished talking about Nehemiah.  So as I was humming along with the cd, I was reminded of our lesson from Sunday: I can CHOOSE to do what's right.  Even when it's hard.

And that's what REALLY helps me feel better. It doesn't make me forget my problems, but it DOES help me to face them!

Christmas in July

Every Summer, long about mid-July, I pull out the Christmas tunes and films.  Some people understand this, but for those of you who don't, here is a list of 10 reasons why I celebrate Christmas in July:

1. It's hot outside, and Christmas makes me think of "cold outside;" mind over matter.
2. Andy Williams' "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"
3. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccinos
4. The Christmas Card (one of my favorite/cheesiest Christmas movies)
5. Jump-starting the Christmas shopping now helps lower the giant expense in December.
6. The iHeart Radio "Christmas in July" station
7. The feeling I get when I listen to Christmas music or watch Christmas movies
8. The movies are too good to see only once a year.
9. The music is too spectacular to listen to only once a year.
10. Christ's birth is always worth celebrating!

Join me, won't you?