Running

So there I was at the end of a pretty good day, when all of a sudden my day took a serious nose dive. So what did I do? I ran.  Well technically I walked.  Crying and running in a public place can cause serious damage as tears can inhibit one's ability to see clearly, thus resulting in the greater probability of running into someone. So I walked.

But in my head I was running.  I was running as hard and as fast and as far as I could.  I was running against time, and myself, and life, and the moment.

But running doesn't fix your problems.  Unless, of course, one of your "problems" is being fat.  I've convinced myself that this is in fact NOT one of my problems. Go ahead and laugh if you want.  I do sometimes.

As I "ran,"  I thought about how much I wished running actually could  fix my problems. Yes, it helped to relieve some of my stress and to clear my mind, but the problem was still there.  The only one who can fix the problem is me.  By first turning to God and crying out for help and healing.  And then by fixing relationships I've marred.  No amount of "running" can do that.  Only I can.

I'm kind of hard to live with sometimes.  At times, I can be a lousy friend; sometimes being friends with me is a lot like living on a perpetual see-saw.  Lots of ups and downs, and not really all that great. Probably not worth the hassle.

But I'm thankful for the friends I have that love me anyway. I'm thankful that even through the see-saw of my life, they stick by me, never leaving, encouraging me along the way.  Sometimes I'm even thankful for their kind slaps in the face to tell me I'm being stupid.  Or that I'm not listening.  Or that I need to quit living in a fantasy world and just grow up.

So I talked to God, and I talked to my friends, and I felt better.

You can't "run away" your problems. And you can't (yes, I speak from experience) fix your problems by watching a great movie while eating a bowl of caramel pecan frozen yogurt either.  But even though the problems are still there after having completed the running and the eating and the watching, I can definitely say I feel MUCH better!