For anyone that knows me, this may come as a shock. Amidst all the changes going on in my life right now, I haven't really had a huge meltdown yet. Sure, I've cried, but it's mostly been silent tears slipping down my cheeks a few at a time and [for the most part] short lived.
That's about to change.
I can feel it.
Other Caleb leaves for basic in a week, and I'm not ready. I'm just not. His departure is the "big finale" end to the best summer of my life. Soon, all I'll have is the precious memories I made this summer and my best friend/little sister Helen.
It keeps me awake at night, lying there thinking about how much I miss Little Brother and how much I already miss Other Caleb. It feels like there's a gaping hole in my chest, which I suppose makes sense considering that a tiny part of my heart is in Ohio, and another tiny part of my heart will soon be in Texas. It hurts.
So, since I haven't really had one of my famous [at least in our family] meltdowns yet, I've been just waiting for it to happen. I know it's coming. I know it will happen when I least expect it. And I know I'll wake up the morning after with the worst headache in the world [we call it a crying hangover in our familiy... worst EVER!].
For instance, on my way to work this morning, "Stayin' Alive" came on the radio, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there I was with more tears streaming down my face. I don't know why, but memories of a summer road trip to Mason City were suddenly so vivid and clear in my mind, it overwhelmed me.
And so begins the emotional journey that is sure to cover the next few months. Missing people, re-living memories in my mind (and out loud with my best friend), and patiently waiting for what's next.
*Be Advised- hugs will be much needed AND much appreciated over the next few months. They may even be solicited. Just FYI.
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