Reflection

Lately, with all the changes goin on around me, I've been very reflective.  For the most part, I've been reliving my summer memories over and over again in my head.  I've gone through the hundreds of pictures I took this summer dozens of times in the last few weeks... just remembering.

But then it hit me.

I shouldn't be here.  If life had gone according to MY plan, I would probably still be living at home, working for the church, and enjoying life in a very different way.

Where was I a year ago?

Well, one year ago today, I was sitting in class at Iowa Wesleyan College, convincing myself that I belonged there... that I COULD learn to speak Spanish... that I WOULD graduate in two and a half years with a teaching degree.

I was praying desperately for my sister Helen and I to find jobs in our local areas.  I was missing her beyond belief as she began school at Faith, and I started at IWC without her.

I was enjoying having my big sister, her first grader, and her new baby living with us.  I was caught up in several new TV shows, including Pan Am and Once Upon a Time.

I was helping with AWANA at church, as well as playing the piano regularly, and teaching Sunday School.

I was working hard at making my mom my new best friend.  I was working hard at being friends with my littlest sister Leah.  I was working hard at being a good friend to my cousin April and my neighbor Sarah. I was looking to former teachers-turned-mentors for advice in my schooling.

I was pouring time and energy (both well spent) into growing in my walk with God.   I was praying for guidance and strength in my new endeavour with school.  I was seeking wisdom and assurance that I was doing what He wanted me to do.

REALLY?!  All of that was only a year ago?  It feels like forever.  Looking back now, I can see how insanely much I've grown this year. Now, I can say with confidence that:

1. I'm exactly where God wants me to be.
2. I'm a stronger person because of the past year.
3. I'm closer to all three of my sisters now than I was then.
4. My mom is one of my best friends in the whole entire world.
5. Several of the key people in my life... I didn't even KNOW them a year ago. Now I can't imagine life without them.
6. I have no doubt whatsoever that I did the right thing by walking away from teaching.
7. Somehow, I've lost weight. Random, but true!
8. God brings things in to our lives to grow us, stretch us, and make us into the people He wants us to be... even if it "hurts."
9. God will use whomever He chooses, even unexpected people, to bless our lives.
10. God has a plan for this next year of my life.  I can trust Him COMPLETELY, without worry, to do His will in His time.

If I hadn't paused to reflect on where I was a year ago, it would be easy for me to panic and fear the unknowns of this coming year.  There are so many potential life changes coming my way (most of which I embrace whole heartedly!), and it would be so easy to worry and fret!  BUT... looking at the way God led me from where I was a year ago to where I am now?  That's what gives me the confidence to embrace life.  To live without fear.

As my Yellow House brother recently reminded me:  You don't have to fear the unknown because you know the God who knows the unknown.

I'm excited to see whereGod takes me, and where I'll writing from NEXT September!