Memory of the Future

I recently heard a song (extra points if you know where) and fell completely in love with it! It's one of my new favorites. The phrase that gets me every time I hear it is this:

"And we're all getting older,
wishing we were young
hanging on the memory of what we would become..."

It doesn't happen too often, as I quite enjoy my current life, but occasionally I think about the fact that I've been out of high school for almost six years, and my life looks nothing like I thought it would.

If you'd asked me at 18 where I thought I'd be at 24, I would probably have said something along the lines of "happily married, living somewhere in the suburbs with the man of my dreams, raising our children.  I'll have traveled to at least six states I've never been in before and made enough memories to last a lifetime.  This year, our family Christmas card will feature a photo of our family visiting yet another historical, yet beautiful, landmark."

I think we can all agree that NONE of this has happened yet. But that's how life is. Things rarely go as you thought they would. I'm not complaining about my life.  I love my life.  I'm so thankful for this extra time I get to spend with my family!  I have a job I enjoy (most of the time) and a church that provides both a family and an outlet for ministry.

Life doesn't always turn out like I thought it would.  And while I love this life just the way it is, I like occasionally spending an hour or two with my memories of the future I hoped for.

5 Thankful Things: March

1. I'm thankful for the opportunity to have surgery on my nose!  It's been a slow, drug-out recovery, but I've been told it'll be totally worth it! I'm also thankful for my cousin April taking the time to be there at the hospital with my parents that day!
2. I'm thankful that I was able to celebrate my 1 year anniversary at the bank last week!  And I'm thankful that I have no inclination to leave!  I love my job!
3. I'm thankful for Puffs Plus Lotion!  I'm not sure my poor nose would have survived without them.
4. I'm thankful for the unexpected opportunity to spend time with my family last week as we celebrated the home-going of my dear grandpa!  I'm thankful, also, for the absolute certainty of his relationship with Jesus Christ, reassuring us of his home in heaven!
5. I'm thankful that March is OVER for another year!  March is one of my least favorite months, and now I have just another reason to dislike it.  Thankfully, I won't have to deal with March for another 11 months!

That's my thankfuls for the month!  It's good, especially with months like this one, to sit down and find reasons to be thankful!  What are you thankful for?

No More March

Next year, I'm skipping March.  As in, I'm going right from February 28 to April 1.

No more March.

No extra month of terrible weather.

No more painful days of grief.

For the last 12 years, March 21 has been one of the saddest days of the year for me.  It was on that day, as a 12-year-old girl, I had my first encounter with this painful reality of life: it ends.

It's no secret that, while we're not supposed to play favorites with our family, Uncle Scott was my favorite uncle.  There was just something larger than life about him growing up.  I can't say what it was: his height, his laughter, the way he made me feel important and loved.  Whatever it was, I can say with certainty that my life was forever changed on that day.

Last Saturday, March 22, my beloved grandfather (mom's side) left his earthly home to be forever with his Savior.  I don't know how to express the sadness I feel for those of us left behind, nor do I know how to fully express my excitement for Grandpa as he has entered into the joy of eternity with his Savior!  This conflict of emotions is just... overwhelming.

As I reflect on the events of the last week, I am reminded of several things:

1. God's timing is always perfect. There are so many little details that clearly evidence His care for us in the timing of this.
2. I'll always have my memories.  Nothing can replace or take away the precious memories I have of my grandfather!
3. I'm fortunate to be part of a family (on both sides) that is so closely knit together!  Families like ours are rare, and far too often, I take mine for granted.
4. The next time I see Grandpa, I won't ever have to say good-bye again!  We'll be forever together in eternity with the One who redeemed us!
5. Our time with our loved ones here on this earth is limited.  Take the time to tell people you love them, to tell them how much they mean to you.

I've had more thoughts, feelings, and emotions than I could ever fully process over the last week, but I'm thankful that in the midst of it all, I was surrounded by family, friends, and a forever faithful Savior!

Right Now I'm...

Listening: I recently purchased Dee Henderson's "Full Disclosure" on MP3 CD, so I've had that playing in my car for my drive to/from work.  I've read my paperback copy three times, but it never gets old! I love listening to books in my car, and this one is totally worth it!

Watching: I'm kind of between shows right now, which is a good thing probably.  My shows are back from their winter hiatus, so I've been enjoying new episodes of "Once Upon a Time" and "Revenge."

Reading: I think I'll save energy and just say "See #1."

Eating: PB&J's.  I've been a huge fan of soft foods since my surgery, and PB&J's totally ROCK!

Wishing: That my nose was totally healed. Can't wait until the day when I can breathe normally and not have to wipe my nose every two seconds.

Needing:  Patience.  It's always hard to wait for things you really want (or think you really want), but if you can be patient, sometimes it's totally worth the wait!

Rejoicing: That my surgery was a success!  And I get to go back to my normal "drive-up" duties at work on Monday.  I MISSED my my usual hangout!

Indulging: Grape Juice.  It's a comfort thing for me, and so I stocked up before surgery.  And I've consumed way more than a normal person.

Loathing: The disgustingness that is my nose these days.  Drippy nose.  Constantly grabbing the puffs.  Awkward social interaction... "excuse me while I mop up the mess that is my face" situations.

Saying: I'm not sure if I should share this or not, but my sister Helen had quite the interaction the other day with what I presume was a Kindergartner wherein said child asked "what's your nick name?" to which she replied, "Helen."  The child's response: "Like... what the Helen?!"  Bahaha!  I'm not really saying it too much, but it IS hilarious.  I mean really?! I feel for that kid's parents.... They clearly have their hands full.

Meditating: I mentioned in my last post the snippets of verses that ran though my head right before I went under last week.  "Lo, I am with you always..." and "I will never leave you nor forsake you." What comfort and encouragement in these promises!

Picturing:  

Our most recent family photos

For the church directory:

 

NOT for the church directory... 

A Little Slow...

As you all know, I had surgery last Thursday to correct my deviated septum.  I won't bore you with the gory details, but I will tell you that it was successful and the doctors were pleased with the outcome. And I'm pretty sure that my dad was even a little grossed out when they took the splints out of my nose on Friday.  Super gross.  Just.... ew!

I spent all of Thursday afternoon, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday feeling like I'd been hit in the face with a sledgehammer.  I fully intended to go back to work on Monday, but... that just didn't happen. I just didn't have the energy.  I was sluggish and blah. I should have known better than to assume I'd be "normal" with this recovery.  I've never had a normal recovery in my life. 

I just tend to be a little slow.  Slow bouncing back.  Slow healing up.  Slow to regain strength.  

The only thing that doesn't slow down is my sense of humor.  And my conversation speed.  Apparently there just isn't much that slows either of those things down.

Thanks, again, for all the prayers said on my behalf.  It was comforting to know that God was with me during surgery.  The last thing I remember before waking up in recovery is repeating these words over and over in my head: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." and "Lo, I am with you always."  I'm thankful for the peace and comfort God brings when we need it most!

I don't see the doctor again until next Thursday for my two-week post-op check-up.  So until then, I've stocked up on the lotion-y Puffs, grape juice (which is a comfort thing for me for some reason), and I'm doing my absolute best to hold off on sneezing until I absolutely can't hold it in any longer (because lets be honest: that's gonna HURT like the dickens when it finally happens!!).